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This time last year I was in Oshogbo. Good thing about posting regularly on facebook is that it can serve as a diary refreshing your memories about where you are and what you were thinking in the preceding years. So this time last year I was in Oshogbo. I’d just secured my NYSC relocation from Zamfara. A lot was going on with me simultaneously. But in all, my quest to be in a new serious relationship with marital prospect never waned.
I’d always known I’d end up with someone from facebook. It was as assuredly as dating someone you met at work or in school. But what I never thought probable was ending up dating a stranger. By stranger I mean somebody we’ve not been properly acquainted on the media in the last two years I’d become active.
But it was during this period I began noticing Caro’s presence on my timeline. And it was during this time I promptly began plotting my way into her heart. So it was understandable that even though I wanted a serious relationship, by virtue of my expectation I wasn’t planning to have it with someone like Caro. Someone that was never in the picture. Someone we don’t even have an inbox history.
Now when I look back, I feel amused. It also validates my earliest sentiments about who we end up marrying. They are seldom the one we love most. They are seldom the one that befits or profits us most. Usually two people that end up marrying are two people ready for it when they met. I was mentally ready for something with marital prospects and well, it was unbelievable someone as pretty, smart and understanding lady as Caro could be out of any romantic relationship at the time. The hand of destiny was written all over us. Like I usually say, there’s nothing like coincidence, what we have is nature’s conspiracies.
I believe no matter how intense the mutual feelings, if either of two people in a relationship is unready for the big step of eternal commitment, nothing will come off the affair. It also suggests that love and commitment is more of a decision than anything. You can’t know anyone completely. People don’t even know themselves that much. So how on earth do you know a lady enough before deciding you want to date her? Before deciding you want to marry her?
Think about who you’re dating right now. Whether it is a serious relationship or causal one doesn’t matter. Now ask yourself. What made me go into this relationship? Often times whatever it is, you’ve got more reasons later on not to stick to your initial fancy. And even when you persist, it is because of reasons beyond the reason you went into the relationship in the first place.
I’m quite lucky Caro has sense but if I was dating another lady, I probably would have still made it work. The ultimate characteristic of Love is commitment. When someone will always choose you no matter what. When someone won’t give up on you in whatever situation. Now if that’s true then Love is a decision not feelings.