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Amazon’s Latest Plans For Whole Foods Just Might Depress You

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Absurdly Driven looks at the world of business with a skeptical eye and a firmly rooted tongue in cheek. 

Not everyone was delighted when Amazon bought Whole Foods.

Some of the concerned were people who work at Whole Foods.

At first, it seemed that things might roll along with a few more efficiencies and the occasional ad for an Amazon product as you walk in.

Now, things are changing.

Amazon just announced that it’s going to start selling its electronic devices at Whole Foods. A lot of its electronic devices.

Are these Echo smart speakers and Fire tablets organic? Lord, no. 

But Christmas is coming and the corporate goose needs to get organically fatter.

You might still be lucky. These electronic goods will, the Seattle Times reports, only be for sale at certain “selected” Whole Foods stores. 

Oh, but if you count the ones that will have employees peddling these things and the ones that will just have the gadgets on display, we’re talking over 100 stores.

Please forget, then, the sense of wholesome wonder you used to feel when wandering into your local Whole Foods.

Try reminiscing about the sheer gorgeousness of the produce on display.

Now, the corporate bosses want to gorge on profits.

They want to intrude into Whole Foods’ persona, just as they want to intrude into your personal life with speakers that, at least according to one German customer, start dance parties all on their own at 2 a.m. 

This all might, of course, fail. 

Amazon is well known for its experimentation penchant, one that sees it merely look at the data and ignore, say, feelings.

For your local Whole Foods, however, this might represent permanent scarring. 

It might mean Amazon will continue to try things that would have been anathema a year ago.

Who knows, soon every store might enjoy huge screens upon which every test-flight of CEO Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin rockets will be played, with fanfares in the background.

Yes, Whole Foods will now become Best Buy Bezos Whole Foods. 

They call this progress.

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